Happy birthday Ellyse :)

Happy birthday angel 🙂

Today is a sacred, beautiful day.

So sorry that it’s been a while since I sent you a message like this; I hope you’re healthy and well, enjoying and loving life, of course I’ve been able to enjoy seeing you play (we get all your WBBL and Victoria games over here), and it’s so amazing – so so good to see you charging in and bowling again (sorry maybe I should say gliding in hopefully that’s ok) – it’s just the best. I make every effort to watch as much as I can, sometimes I miss some, but I do everything I can to keep updated.

Even with the Commonwealth Games, I know you didn’t play, but even seeing you for a few moments in the dugout, that was so special for me, it was actually a bit otherworldly – feeling so close to you when you were on the other side of the planet. I’m sure you found the positives that were there though, you would have been a tower of strength for everyone, as I say, in every way that I see it, you are the team’s talisman through and through. It was obvious you were well supported – I saw you chatting to Annabel – and you are so loved – I can’t imagine to know how good it must be to have such great friends there alongside you.

I’ve just been ticking along, but at the same time there is always something interesting to see and do, enjoying life as it always seems to unfold in the most uncanny and unusual of ways. Sometimes even the seemingly mundane has a way of teaching me something. I love getting out and about, even if only for a few hours, even if not too far from home. Trains are always a bonus, they are just so “me” (maybe I’m a bit 1934 lol), maybe too because there’s no eco-footprint or something, and they are really good to get some chill time. But then there’s you jet setting everywhere, sitting with your teammates on airport lounge floors for some down time – all of it is so cool – the world is a small place, really. I just get a flash as I write this right now of us sitting seats together on a plane, I don’t know where that came from, a premonition or something 🙂 Maybe a bit odd lol.

Living in the Hutt Valley (known here just as “the Hutt”), population of about 150,000 as I think I may have mentioned before. Wellington has over 250,000 people or so, so with all that, never a dull moment and rarely the same faces seen 🙂 But then familiar and friendly faces are always there when and where I need them most. Nothing too different there I guess, but even more so for you with the countless people you share Sydney with.

Of course you’re not so far away, I’m really a novice at some things, completely paralyzed on occasions lol (or at least the one occasion being “with” you at that last game) 🙂 So yes, that was a new experience. I really didn’t plan anything with any of your five matches, i.e. thinking what to say or do, or not do, I just put myself close to you to see what happened lol. I don’t even know if you were there for the game against Bangladesh, that was a wild Wellington day lol. Loved it. Anyway, with all that, here we are 🙂

I should really have said hi to you, but saying that, I don’t have any regrets as it is now, and I don’t really want any in the future, although I have experienced that even regrets can be dissolved away, as difficult as they might seem at the time. I was so nervous though, just frozen to the spot as I mentioned. It was really weird, to be honest. It might be totally nerve-wracking again if I were to see you again in person. Still, I was so close to you – just a couple of metres away – I’ll never forget those moments – and yes, your wicket celebration, it was an honour to witness, and with your injury that happened later, such a rare moment for me. A hug, a peck on the cheek, or some inspired and completely original words that would have completely swept you off your feet could well have been in order 🙂 – damn Covid protocols haha.

I wrote this poem for you too…

Intelligence in abundance
Always there to share a thought
Where your wisdom works in ways
Where an angels input’s sought

Your beauty is not just there
For everyone to see
There’s a diamond residing within your heart
Uplifting friends and company

Australia it was blessed
Where others they missed out
Wahroonga was the place
A legend came about

The Wombats to start
As your craft it was learnt
From humble beginnings
Your recognition well earned

There throughout the years
Supporting every catch
Kathy and Mark’s devotion
Too great an effort to be matched

Alexandra so given
The name of a queen
But no royal comes close
Your robes they are unseen

This world is at your feet
Yet you tread so carefully
Each step a measured moment
The bigger picture seen

Staple is such an accomplishment – another beautiful and really important feather in your cap – you must be really proud. Yes, not knowing anything about the whole thing, as far as everything that’s gone into it behind-the-scenes is concerned, as you mentioned in a post, you’ve known Josh for years, so I’m sure there would have been so much discussion and planning – it must have been a lot of fun, and hard work too?

Yes, even though I know little about such things, it must be long overdue that kids young and old, and women and girls especially, now have so much that they need so they get the most enjoyment possible, and really develop their best game, so everything that can be done is done – and you have done so much already.

When budding sporting careers of kids and everyone you are helping mature into everything that’s possible, where potential is realised, when lives can and will be changed, I imagine you will be able to look back with a real sense of accomplishment there too – and of course right now as everything unfolds, it must be so exciting. When I worked in the 90’s I learned to code mainframes for the government, and wrote software that was used by hundreds of people. It felt so good to be able to do things that were positive and help people, there was a real warmth in the heart, so that was really rewarding as well.

As far as where I see something of myself in the future, amongst other things – I have high hopes of having some sort of positive influence even now – perhaps only starting as I do now occasionally saying something spontaneous to someone that leaves them thinking “that was lovely” 🙂 But then I have a few esoteric beliefs (stemming from what I have experienced spiritually), in what perhaps could be seen by many as a bit unlikely or out-of-touch, yet with that, from the way I have experienced it, helping in some really powerful way – all-the-while being down to earth and anything from flaky, where it’s a real buzz for me and not anything that feels like an effort to do 🙂

I know some of my messages haven’t been that great, with my bipolar I find it hard to get my head around what I want to say, primarily with my tweets and shorter messages, and I often send too early without thinking it out properly, in a rush, with my head in a bit of a spin, or not just taking an hour or two to get things right. It can all go a bit awry :/ Really sorry. No excuses though.

I saw a YouTube video of five or so girls travelling two hours to see you play too (not to mention their two hour return journey) – OMG their happy tears – that was so touching, that’s what it’s all about I think. Now that’s a video worth sharing.

Here’s another poem for you on your special day, I hope you like it…

This sacred day is yours
I would say angels they rejoice
But more than that they guided me
Now I have no other choice

It’s as if I’ve gone from place to place
Seeking all that’s good
And my inner journey has ended now
Something higher knew it would

You deserve more than just words and gifts
Your heart will overflow
As all you’ve dreamed that would one day be
Will come your way I know

If I would someday have the means
To give a gift to you
It would be this entire world
As I know your intention’s true

You could lead every person
To a place of calm and love
With the wisdom you have gained though time
All would see you’re from above

I’m yours to keep ❤

Enjoy the day, you deserve even more than you have received in your life so far. I’m sending out to you a virtual hug, holding you tight.

As of just here and now – as I wrote the previous paragraph, written last evening, on reflecting honestly and carefully overnight, I have realised I’m not able to carry through on anything. I was all set to talk about how much I love your Sunset Sounds, which are just beautiful. It would be a dream just to hold your hands and look into your eyes, to give you a hug, but there’s nothing I can do about it, and I just wish things could be different.

It’s just that there are some things going on for me at this time, not involving anyone else, nothing either of us have (or haven’t) done, but which makes it impossible to take this any further. I will be a better version of myself, in the end.

I don’t know what else to say, but as always, and in all truthfulness, all my love. I have more than just high hopes for the future, but it’s a bit of a waste of time pursuing this any further. You have everything ahead of you.

Happy birthday again – have the most wonderful and beautiful day, and every success for the WBBL, Victoria, the Stars, and everything on and off the field xx

Take care, hugs,

Jason